Kindergarten Graduation

Remember all those posts I had last summer that talked about how sad I was that Savanna was starting kindergarten? That in no way compares to how sad I am that she has just finished kindergarten. I was driving home from picking up some dinner the other night and pretty much started crying when I drove by the school, yeah I know, lame. Sometimes I cannot handle the fact that all my kids are growing up so fast. First grade already, come on! She had a very adorable graduation program and I was crying there too. They sang songs and acted out some stories. They sang "If We Hold on Together", you know that super emotional song from The Land Before Time? I know you know what I'm talking about! I was bawling. Anyway... it was very cute. Her teacher was very sweet and made predictions on what all the kids would be when they grew up. She said Savanna would be the president of Halmark because she is always making cards for her and the kids in class. She does that at home too, I have stacks and stack of homemade cards from her! I got a few good pictures, doesn't she look so old? Crazy. Although it makes me sad that she is so old, first grade will be good for her. She loves school and kind of gets stir crazy hanging around here all the time. Until then I will have to keep her busy all summer, should be fun!

Motherhood Is

Does anyone read Nienie Dialogues? I entered an essay contest she was having about motherhood. I didn't win, wasn't even a finalist, but I thought my essay should be published somewhere so I put it on the blog. Enjoy!

MOTHERHOOD IS

Motherhood to me is the complete sacrificing of ones self for another, your child. Six years ago when I was thrown into the joy of motherhood, the thing that surprised me most was that nothing, I mean nothing, in my life would ever be the same. Gone were the days of leaving the house on a whim.  Gone were the days of leisurely eating a meal. Gone were the days of taking a shower when I wanted to. Gone were the days of sleeping in, or sleeping at all for that matter!  Baby runs the show now and things were done on her schedule. As a new mom, this completely overwhelmed me! I couldn’t believe that this tiny person had total control over everything I did.  I scrambled around those first few months, trying to get a handle on this new life where most everything I did was for someone else. Then something astonishing happens. Everything flips on its end and suddenly you can’t imagine a world without this tiny person. The idea of being able to shower at your convenience seems insignificant. Sleeping straight through the night isn’t necessary anymore. Your mind and body is growing and changing to be able to fully and completely take care of your baby. Here are the days of eating your breakfast while nursing your baby, hoping you don’t spill on her! Here are the days of peeking out of the shower curtain every two minutes to make sure she is still in her swing. Here are the days filled with delight over the countless new things she can do. Here are the days of rocking her to sleep, then keeping her in your arms. A memory I return to for peace during one of life’s many storms. Here are the days of Motherhood. You realize that you would gladly go without so your child won’t have to. You watch yourself become a protector while you watch your baby take her first steps. You begin to crave being with your children, a moment alone is lonely. Your life is so fulfilled with nurturing and being with your children. What an amazing gift it is to be able to experience life through your child’s eyes. To teach and to do for them is what makes you happy; to give is the only fulfilling thing anymore. To be able to make my child laugh and see on their face that they are happy is worth any amount of work or sacrificing I may have to do.  Motherhood is sacrificing yourself for another, and in return having your cup runneth over with love and fulfillment. Motherhood is the closest thing to Heaven on Earth.

Improvements

Spring brings warmth and sun and with it...motivation! I had ambitious plans to tear out my flower beds and start over with something extremely low maintenance. I do not enjoy yard work therefore my flower beds were over grown with weeds, rose bushes that refuse to die, and insufferable grass that crept in from the lawn. I started my annual "lets clean up this mess" massacre of hacking at bushes, ripping things out, cutting grass then getting tired, giving up and leaving it like that for the rest of the year. Only this time I was determined to keep going until I had something nice. All I wanted was to be able to walk home from church and not think, ugh this place is ugly. I also wanted something really, really easy to take care of. So I dug out every bush and plant and lots of dirt. I soaked the ground with weed killer then covered it with black weed preventing fabric. Then I planted a few of the very smallest, easiest plants I could find, and filled it in with gravel. James bought the gravel and unloaded one of the loads and about half way through unloading the second truck load of gravel, the Missionaries came by and helped me finish. Everything else I did myself, it took a couple of weeks and more than once I thought "this was a bad idea, what have I gotten myself into?" It was hard work but the end result was worth it. I have no before pictures (because why would I take a picture of my ugly flower beds?) and the plants need to grow and fill it in a bit but I am very happy!

The next project was much smaller, a cute little decoration for Savanna and Avery's room. We moved the crib out and put Avery in a new big girl bed! The girls both got new matching comforters and I made the sisters decoration to match. Cute. 

Last but definitely not least, I have been working to improve myself as a wife. This has been going on for quite awhile and I fail more than I would like to admit, but I keep forging ahead. I read a lot of books, my favorite being The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. This is an amazing book and I highly recommend any wife or anyone who thinks they might become a wife to read it. She talks about how the feminist movement has hurt the family because of the idea that a woman doesn't need a man to be happy. Which is true of course, but if you choose to get married then you have a man, and must respect the fact that you need him. She also talks about how a lot of women feel entitled to have it all, that they can stay home with their kids but also be able to go out whenever they want and expect their husband to provided everything for them and do all the house work. From the beginning of my marriage and especially when I quit my job to be a stay at home mom when Savanna was born, James and I have had a clear idea of what the husband and wife roles should be. James works incredibly hard to provide for our family and I am the primary caregiver for the children and keep house. Of course there are many times when James is working on something at the house or watching the kids or I am running an errand or sending emails for the business, but we have been able to find the balance that works for us, and it's made us happy. My improvements as a wife have focused and making sure James knows how much I love him, respect him, and understand how hard he works and how much he does to provide every single thing the kids and I have. When he comes home my primary goal is to make him feel welcome, respected, loved and appreciated. I believe what Dr. Laura teaches, that the wife is the one who directs the mood of her home and family. My actions will set the tone for the day and it's up to me to make sure we have good days. I love my family and husband and I know I am extremely blessed to have the life I have. Life is always changing and as I get older (30 next week!) I understand what is important and what areas of my life I need to improve upon. I only hope I can continue on and keep making a better me.