The Mommy Track

The other day I was talking on the phone to my good friend who lives out of state, we don't see each other too often but we try to keep in touch as much as possible. We grew up together so we know each others families a little bit and we always ask how everyone is doing whenever we talk. My friend was telling me about her sister who is a buyer and retail merchandiser for a nationwide woman's fashion store. She travels around buying clothes for the stores, designing the stores, attending fashion shows, pretty cool job. Her other sister runs a successful dental business, and her sister-in-law is the Mayor of Saratoga Springs, is running for congress and is always on some news program as a political consultant. After talking about these awesome, successful women, we both kind of paused and said, hmm, we are just moms. We talked about how sometimes we wish we had some talent or success, but for both of us, being a mom is what we always wanted. We never really had bigger dreams than that. We agreed that we are good moms and the world needs women like us that like being stay at home moms that can raise the amazing successful people of the future. Yeah! That's right! We said, we are awesome... right? These thoughts were in my mind as my family and I settled down to watch the General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, my church. Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave a talk entitled "The Moral Force of Women." In the talk he praised women and all they do and talked about "the mommy track". He said that today some women are ridiculed for choosing the mommy track. Some people believe that raising children and keeping a home is demeaning to women. Elder Christofferson praised those women who do choose to be "only" a stay at home mom saying that there is no more important or fulfilling work. I loved this talk. It was really nice to hear those words and feel like my choice to be just a mom was a good one. I really have never wanted to be anything else or had great big dreams to be anything other than a wife and mom. I really am living the dream! I think I know what my talents are and what my potential is and being a mom probably won't be the only thing I ever am, but for right now, I am loving the mommy track. No, I do not run a city, but I run a home. No one would ever ask my opinion of political issues, but someone might ask me how I taught my kids to read. I certainly  don't know anything about fashion, but my kids are dressed everyday! I don't earn a paycheck, but I try to teach my children the value of hard work. I don't travel, meet important people, make important decisions, or win any elections. I make breakfast, I drive the kids to school, I help with homework, I wipe butts, I bathe kids, I go on bike rides, I read stories, I take the kids to church, I babysit, I tuck in, I play "stuffed animal fort", I tie shoes, I clean up spilled milk, I microwave corn dogs, I say prayers, I color and paint, I go to the library once a week, I tickle, I play, I love, hug and kiss my kids all day long because they are mine and I'm raising them and I love them. And I'm good with that.

Catching Up: School and My Special Kids

Ahh, my poor neglected blog...oh well! I thought life was so crazy and busy when my kids were babies. That was nothing compared to now! Life just flies by and I honestly don't have enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to be done, let alone blog about it. So, what has happened since my last post? School started: Savanna in 2nd, Miles in Kindergarten, and Avery and I are doing neighborhood preschool with 5 other kids and moms and it is the funnest thing ever. Really, it is so fun planning the little lessons and activities, it's giving me ideas of maybe having some sort of preschool once my kids are grow up and gone and I am so lonely :) Three days after school started Savanna broke her arm, bummer. She fell/leaped of the slide at James' parents house and  landed right on it. It was a crazy experience, usually when our kids are sick or hurt James and I take our time deciding whether or not they need a doctor or medicine or if we should wait it out or whatever. This time was different though, there really wasn't any discussion, we just looked at each other and at Savanna and knew something was up and we took her to the Instacare right away. Her break was really high up on her arm so they didn't cast it, just gave her a immobilizer. This made us nervous because with out it being in a cast it seemed so vulnerable and Savanna is super clumsy, so we kept her home from school for quite awhile, just to be safe. Everything is a-ok now though, she can move it normally and do just about anything she did before. This is the funny thing about my kid though: Savanna is left handed, well mostly. As a baby and toddler she switched back and forth between her right and left hand all the time. As she got nearer to school age, she was using her left hand most often and as she got into school, we considered her left handed. The ironic thing is she broke her left arm, so while it was in the brace, instead of not writing at all, she just started using her right hand. Now she uses both the left and right hands for everything and even switches back and forth when she's doing her homework! And her handwriting looks the same left or right, what a weirdo! Or, to put it in her own words, "There's just something special about me." The kids being in school is so fun and crazy and busy! I feel like all I do is drive back forth between school and home, but it's fun. The kids are getting older, which brings new challenges, new adventures, and new worries. But it's still the bestest job ever!

Summertime and the living's easy!

This is the second time that I have used lyrics from a song as a title for a post, oh yeah! This summer has been awesome! We have been having tons o' fun!

Bike parade! 

 

 

 

 

Bike ride to Park Elementary! 

This spring Savanna learned to ride her bike without training wheels and we got Avery her own bike. I also got a bike and we have been having a blast cruising around. I love that my kids are all old enough to go on bike rides together!

Monkey!

Savanna has been trying for a long time to be able to do the monkey bars all the way across. This summer she did it! She is so excited to go back to school and show her friends!

Krispy Kreme and Gandalfo's, why not?

Savanna helping make the delicious dessert!

We made patriotic juice!

Avery gabbing away on her horse ride.

On the 4th of July we had our traditional breakfast in the park. This year it was a cloudy morning so we got to play for awhile before it got too hot. We spent the day making and eating treats. In the evening we went to James' parents house for rides on the horse, BBQ, and fireworks!

This summer the kids all had swimming lessons and loved it! I am amazed at how much they learn and love the water. The are becoming great swimmers, especially Savanna!

Monster Truck Cake! The funnest cake I've ever made!

On July 21st Miles had his 5th birthday! This year was the first time he invited friends to a party and we had so much fun! We made monster truck treats, did an obstacle course, water balloon fight, pinata, and cake! So much fun!
So, yes, the living is easy and fun and hot. We love summer!

Thought I Should Update

So... remember back in January when I wrote about keeping up with the blog more and blah blah blah? Ooops. Well lets see, what has been a happening since April 13? We did some work on our back yard, we ripped out the deck and put in a patio. We had this huge, ugly deck. It was old and not built very well and instead of railing it had a full on solid fence around it. Whatever the builder was planning on using the deck for required a lot of privacy. Anyway, the fence was slowly falling down and I was sure this would be the summer it would come crashing down with some kid on top or underneath it. So we got rid of it and I enjoy the nice little patio much better. We also got a new bed!  After a particularly rough night of James and I trying to avoid the springs jabbing us in the back, we went mattress shopping. We decided to upgrade to a king size but the gorgeous bed James made us when we got married is only a queen. I did not want to give up that bed so James just re-built it to fit the king mattress. Yay for me, he is the man!

Miles and Savanna both had their spring school programs. Miles was so cute, smiling the whole time and he got to sit next to this girl that he was always talking about. They whispered and giggled all the way through. Savanna was also cute but I didn't see much of her program because about 5 minutes before it started Avery barfed all over us, lame.
We went on a little camping trip out to the west desert. There was barf there too, Miles, in the middle of the night, in the tent, gross. But the next morning he felt better and we took the Jeep on Rattlesnake trail and all around out there, it was fun!

Jeeping with my girls.

 

 

Front seat Jeeping.

 

 

School ended, yay! We had a great Memorial Day weekend spending time at Provo River Falls and at Jordanelle with my Uncle, Aunt, and cousins!

My little castaways.

Bogus dude.

This past weekend James entered his motorcycle in the Rat Fink Reunion car show in Manti. James has been custom building this bike for over four years and it is so exciting now that it is finished! The car show was really fun and James was the happiest boy ever! He won an artist choice award and got to meet a lot of people who share his interest in custom building cool things. I was so happy that he got to see people admire the bike and all his hard work, and there were a ton of admirers .

See, he is the man.

We are a bike show family now! 

 

 

Summer is finally here and I am excited! I love having my kids home, playing and swimming and being crazy!  I am so blessed!

A Possible Explanation

My kids love to have us tell stories about funny things they did when they were younger. Then they re-tell the stories back to us and say "wasn't that so funny?". We were sitting at the table after school doing homework and having a snack the other day when the kids started telling these stories. Miles' favorites are the time he said his first word: ball. It wasn't because he loved to play with a ball, it was because we were having spaghetti for dinner and he wanted more meatballs. His other favorite was when James was holding the camera and Miles said, "I wanna see the say cheese!" Savanna talked about when she was about 6 months old and she crawled out onto the driveway in the rain and splashed in the puddles. She also talked about when she was about the same age and we would say "Savanna, say yay!" and she would put both of her short little arms in the air above her head. During this story telling Avery piped up and said, "Remember the time when I was a baby and I screamed and cried every time you put me in my cage?" Um, what? "Yeah, the cage in Savanna's room!" Wait, what? So I said, "Avery, when you were a baby, did you think your crib was a cage?" "Yes!" OH MY GOSH! This is it! This explains why she never slept through the night by herself until we put her in a big girl bed! She thought we were locking her away in a cage! :)

No Judging!

Awhile back I posted on Facebook a criticism of the behavior of some kids we had seen in public. My friend very kindly pointed out that I did not know them or their situation and therefore was in no place to judge them. This friend said that since she became a parent her motto has been no judging! It's true, we don't know why people do the things they do and have absolutely no reason to judge. Sometimes I hate Facebook, it seems to bring out the worst in me.  Lately I have tried to adopt my friend's motto of no judging because my life as a parent has taken some twists and turns.
By the time Avery was born I thought I had parenting (at least up until age four) pretty well figured out. Savanna and Miles were very similar kids, they ate well, slept through the night at about the same age and with the same technique, and potty training hadn't been that big of a deal. Avery changed everything. Eating: the pickiest kid ever, sleep: didn't sleep through the night until a few months after her 2nd birthday, and Potty: issues. Savanna and Miles were both potty trained, fairly easily, at age two and although Avery had changed the mommy rules over and over again, I was still determined to have her potty trained at the same age. So I set out to potty train her the same way I did the other kids and... well it worked, at first. I thought she was doing pretty well until we noticed that she would not go number 2. She would hold it and hold it until we had to give her a suppository. I thought she was just constipated due to the picky eater issue. She will never eat fruits and vegetables! I don't get it because we all eat them, Savanna and Miles are good eaters so she's not following their example by not eating them, she just won't! We took her to see our pediatrician who suggested we give her a stool softener and try to change her diet. Taking the stool softener really didn't work well with potty training so, she was back in pull-ups for about 9 months. This was very hard for me. In the past I would totally have thought having a two year old who was not potty trained was awful, unacceptable! I think I needed to learn some kind of lesson because things just got worse. The new plan was to start potty training again after Christmas. Again, she did awesome...at first. She was perfectly fine with number 1, but number 2 started to suffer. Again we had to go back to using suppositories, which was awful. She would scream and fight every time we had to do it. We were getting worried so we talked to the doctor again and did some research. Although they do not officially diagnose until a child is four, Avery has every single sign and symptom of  Encopresis. You can read all about it but basically she cannot physically tell when she needs to go. I was so upset, especially because one of the reasons children develop it is being potty trained too early. Yay, way to go mom of the year. I just thought she was being her crazy, unpredictable self, but in actuality, she can't help it. We have been very diligent with her treatment of this issue, regular doses of the stool softener, sitting on the potty after meals, increasing water, and trying to change her diet. I bought Deceptively Delicious and have been making the recipes like crazy. All the recipes incorporate fruit and vegetable purees so even the most picky of eaters get them in their diet. We are experimenting and finding out what her favorites are and it seems to be helping. Just the other day she was sitting on the potty and said "Mom, I'm so happy I don't have to do suppositories anymore!" Oh man, that made me happy but sad at the same time, poor kid. I am so happy the treatment is working but it can take up to a year to resolve the issue, which means she will be wearing pull-ups until then. She does still go number 1 on the potty though. So my whole reason for this post was to remember: no judging! Honestly,  a three year old, plus however old she will be when this is all over, still wearing pull-ups was something I would not have accepted before but now I know it's best for my daughters health. I definitely look at things differently now. I'm sorry if you have ever felt judged by me. Like I said, this was probably a lesson I needed. I, as a parent, do not have all the answers and do not know what I am doing most of the time. Every kid is different and needs different things, I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out because Avery was different right from day one, but I'm starting to understand. I love being a mom and love my kids and hope that I can see them in a different way now and do what is best for them, not what some book I might have read seven years ago says is best. So, no judging and just doing my best for them. That's the new plan!

Lessons From a Life Well Lived

This past week my mind has been full of thoughts and ideas. All of these thoughts and ideas have been spinning around in there and I wanted to write them down. In my head, they will all come out in a beautifully written inspirational message. This is what I imagine, the reality will probably be much different, but I will try anyway. This past week was a difficult one for my family, my Grandpa Bogus passed away. While this was no great tragedy, he was 87 and had lived an amazing life, he is gone from us now and that does cause some pain. Pain, and reflection. I consider myself very lucky to have had my Grandpa in my life for this long. The only Grandparent James has ever know is his maternal Grandmother and she lived in England and he was only able to see her a few times as a child. My Grandparents live in Provo and I was able to spend lots of time with them. They had always been there for me, and as I got older, it seemed like they just might live forever. So my Grandpa's passing brought to light the fact that, no, they won't live forever. The thought ran through my head that I would imagine many people have when someone dies: if I had known the last time I saw him was the last time I would ever see him, it would have been different. I am so grateful to still have my Grandma, and being able to spend time with her during all this was very special. Thursday night was the viewing for my Grandpa. It was nice to be able to see so many Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, some that I haven't seen in a long time, but most I do see and talk to often. This was another great blessing that came from this. I realized how lucky I am to have so many Aunts and Uncles and cousins in my life. We grew up together and when we all get together as adults we tell all the same stories of our childhood and laugh and laugh. I love it. My cousins have spouses and children, and I am so lucky that they are a part my life too. At the viewing I made my way over to where my Grandma was sitting and knelt down next to her so I could talk to her. She leaned in and spoke right into my ear. I'm not sure what I expected her to say, something about my Grandpa I guess, but that's not what she said. She reminded my of some health issues that my Dad, her son, is having. She told me I need to make sure that I talk to my Dad about it and make sure he is taking care of himself. The thought struck me so hard, that at her husbands viewing she was not talking about him, or even herself, but about her son. Even at 87 years old with her son in his 60's, she was still a mother, concerned about his health. As a mother this meant so much to me and when I really thought about it I realized that I will be the same way. No matter how old your children are, they are yours and you will love them and care for them no matter the circumstance.
My brother, some of my cousins, and I were pallbearers for the funeral on Friday. I was really happy to have a part in the funeral and this job created an amazing opportunity for us. After the funeral service all the pallbearers rode with my Grandma to the cemetery so we would be ready to carry the casket to the burial sight. During the drive my Grandma told us all stories of my Grandpa and of our parents when they were young. Stories that I hadn't heard before, one was this: When my Grandpa was a boy his family lived in Carbon County, during the summers he and his sister would stay with a friend for a week or so in the next town over. My Grandpa and his sister, Clarice, would walk, following the train tracks, the whole way to theirs friends home. My Grandpa was in charge of carrying the suitcase full of the clothes they would need for the week. Grandpa would dawdle along and his sister would end up going on ahead of him. When they reached their destination it was discovered that none of Clarice's clothes were in the suitcase, Grandpa had taken them out one by one and discarded them along the tracks, but left his clothes alone. The drive to the cemetery took us past BYU campus and Grandma told us that Grandpa, an electrician, had been in charge of all the electrical work for several of the buildings on campus. Grandma also told us of slippery sliding in her back yard. My Grandparents yard has this amazing hill that is perfect for the slip -n-slide. As kids, my cousins and brother and I spent many summers sliding down that hill on huge sheets of plastic our dad's would get for us. Apparently, us grand-kids didn't invent that activity, our parents had been doing long before. Grandma said she about 40 years old and was out on the slippery slide with her kids. She told us that her neighbor was looking out her bedroom window at my Grandma sliding down the hill with her kids and asked her husband what he thought of a grown women slippery sliding. He said it looked like fun and she replied, "go get my suit". Grandma said that now as she looks back on that experience, 40 seemed so very young. I thought about my own life as a mother, I am closer to 40 than I am to 20 and I hope at that age I am still getting down and playing with my kids. The drive to the cemetery also took us right past Grandma and Grandpas house. There is a park right across the street from their house and as we passed Grandma said, "For years the only thing up that flag pole was my boys. I don't know how they did it, but everyone of them managed to shimmy themselves up to the top." Being in the car with my brother, cousins, and Grandma, seems like such a huge gift. Something so special that I got to experience. I will remember that forever, and I am so thankful I was there.
Last of all, this experience has renewed my gratitude for my faith. I am so grateful for the things I know to be true, I know where my Grandfather is and how happy he must be. I know I will see him again. I am so grateful for the spirit that guides me in this life, that comforts me in times of sorrow. I love my family, every single one of them and I am grateful for the lessons I have been able to learn this week. I hope to become an old granny, telling my grand kids awesome stories and seeing the life I have lived spread out before me.

Avery's 3rd Birthday!

Avery just turned three! She is our crazy, unpredictable, sweet little gor! "Gor" is how Avery pronounces girl, we're working on it. I loved Avery's birthday celebration, very low key. Unlike Savanna, Avery didn't really even know that it was her birthday, therefore she had not come up with a thousand ideas of what to do. All day long she kept saying "I can't believe it's my birthday". Three is a good age! We stayed home and made individual pizzas, had cake and ice cream and presents. Avery is our girly girl and was very happy to get a new Barbie doll, but she was also super excited for the Hot Wheels James got her too. My youngest child is three, that is so crazy to me! We are enjoying this stage of life where we have kids and no babies, but sometimes I want them to stay little forever. Avery is the only one that says yes when I ask her to stay little for me.  I'm sure that explains a lot of the "spoiled brat" behavior that comes out of her sometimes, but she is my baby and I might just try to keep it that way, for a little while anyway. I love that gor!

Lucky Number 7!

Seven years ago I became a mother for the first time. This sweet baby girl changed my life forever, I love her so much! She is a very smart and creative girl. She is such a good big sister and so helpful to me and the kids. This last month all my kids have been so sick and Savanna missed several days of school. Even though I was sad she was sick, I really liked having her home. She and I have a special bond I think, she was my only child for a bit and that time was so special for us. She is growing up and changing that's for sure, but she is still my baby girl. For Savanna's 7th birthday we kind of had a repeat of last year. We had family over for cake and ice cream and then we went bowling! Savanna wanted cupcakes this year so after school we came home and the kids and I decorated them. The whole family had fun bowling and this year Avery won. I can't believe I have a 7 year old, crazy! Happy Birthday Savanna!

Decorating cupcakes

Seven year old smile with a missing tooth

Savanna's cupcake

Small Victories

This year I had dreams of starting the new year with an amazing blog post about all the amazing things I was going to do this year, including updating the blog more often. I really want to expand the topics of my posts, not just travel logs of what my family has been doing. But, ehh, who knows what will happen right? Maybe I will achieve those things, maybe not, but all I can do is try.
                                     Some of the things I want to do are:
Take more pictures. I was recently going through all my downloaded pictures for a Christmas gift and I noticed that there were several months where I didn't take even one picture. That's sad. I am going to try to be better at taking pictures of my growing children.

Get Avery potty trained (again). We started back in April and she did ok but then had some constipation issues that led to a complete fear of the potty and was back in pull-ups for awhile. This time I am going about it very slowly and trying to be patient with her. She's so cute.

Be more patient and calm. Obviously children pick-up on how their parents act and I am generally an impatient/not calm individual. My sweet Savanna is my mini-me. We look and act very much the same, I can't get mad at her for being the spitting image of my crazy, worried, un-calm, impatient self. But I also can't live with her being like that either. So, I have to change my ways and hopefully that will transfer over to her and she will stop waking up in the middle of the night stressing about when she is going to get a new bedspread. 

In addition to these things I want to be more positive, live in the moment kind of thing and celebrate small victories. Even if I don't accomplish all I set out to do in one day, I'm sure I can find at least one thing to count as a victory. Today was an off sort of day. First of all this winter is killing me! 10 degrees in the middle of the day is too cold! Then I was dealing with issues with people who pay us a small amount of money each month to live in our house then expect me to make sure that they never experience a moment of discomfort. Sheesh, there was an earwig in my sink this morning but I didn't call my mortgage company to come get it for me! Anyway, then I almost started crying in the middle of the grocery store because my kids were fighting and running around, there was a HUGE line at the pharmacy and Avery peed her pants. When we finally got out to the car I discovered some forgotten yogurt that was hiding under Miles' coat and didn't get paid for. I was so tempted to just throw the yogurt in my car get the heck out of there but... that would be wrong. So I headed back inside to pay for the yogurt. Not stealing yogurt was today's small victory.